Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
