Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
