I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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