:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
