Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
