why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
