omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
