so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
