that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
