haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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