TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
