I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
