She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
