Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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