Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
BRING THE BAGELS
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
