I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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