I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
