genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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