We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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