I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
