I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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