Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
