Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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