12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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