cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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