quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
