I think I died a long time ago.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
