You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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