Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
