You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
