she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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