He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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