O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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