his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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