Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i came on her dog
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
