awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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