i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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