Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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