Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
