Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
