I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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