i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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