Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
