I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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