I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can I color on your dick again?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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