is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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