If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
