Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
