Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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