I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
