It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
