It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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