Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
