So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm getting married
To pizza
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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