Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
