Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
