Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
